It is cool just scary. It’s also a little disheartening that he thought I used they/them instead of she/her, but I do still go by [very masc first name] at school and present the same way I always have so I guess it’s kind of understandable

It’s not fair

I’m not ready I don’t want to be seen. I like playing this guy character where no matter how badly I do it doesn’t matter because it’s not real and who cares about being a guy anyway

It’s quite safe. It’s a lot better if you can get bloodwork done to see what your levels actually are, so you should find a way to do that if possible, but if it’s a little high it’s not gonna kill you or anything and if it’s a little low it’s not useless or completely ineffective. I would follow TerminalEncounter’s advice and start low and slowly go up if you don’t have any problems or until you hit a dose that feels right

So I’m starting to wonder if I’m getting delusional about whether I’m still boymoding. The other day I was talking with an instructor who I had met before but hadn’t really talked with and out of the blue he was like “oh before I forget, pronouns. They/them right?” And I straight up replied with “sure” He also said that he was reminded because he was talking to [other instructor] earlier and apparently that instructor mentioned me and then corrected his pronoun usage and then he wrapped up this story with “he is getting better at this”.

I have never told anyone irl to use anything other than he/him, they just assumed I didn’t use them. Apparently it’s becoming common knowledge or something that I’m not cis, which is, uh, like I don’t even present any differently (aside from that week I wore nail polish) I literally wear the same clothes I always have. The first week of class an instructor was doing attendance and called my (very masc) first name and I raised my hand and he just looked at me like

I feel like I’ve won the lottery with my current schoolwork becoming one of my hyperfixations because I don’t know how I’d be able to sustain this level of work otherwise. Caught between trying to ride this wave for all it’s worth and pacing myself so I don’t get burnt out

heh, another challenger?

::: spoiler what you think

Don’t think about how satisfying it would be. Don’t think about looking her in the eye when I come and knowing it serves a purpose beyond physical pleasure. Don’t think of her wrapping her thighs tighter, tilting her hips and praising me for my healthy swimmers. Unless they aren’t healthy. Then we’ll have to see a doctor :::

I stop taking the anxiety med, I have more anxiety when I'm going outside

This is so real. Every now and then I try and go off cipralex so I can feel full emotions again and I quickly get reminded of why I’m on it in the first place

Mood

Stay tuned!

I wish I had a sister like you growing up having someone to tell me what options there were and to help me get on puberty blockers or hormones would have been life-changing. It’s not pushy to let your sibling know about puberty blockers or help them make figure out what they want and you should definitely have a talk with them

I remember feeling that way during puberty too, and it’s hard but it does get better

*taking notes*

I accept this mission

It’s been hours and I can still smell the solder fumes…

Why else would you name something nevada? He’s clearly AEAB (assigned egg at birth)