Best Fart Stories

I was in University abroad attending a local language course - there were only about 15 other people in the class, like 12 of which were women, and, you know, it was a good class overall. Good people.

One day, late in the class, there was suddenly a small toot that went off... At first I just smiled slightly, but then the smell hit... My word, it was atrocious, enough so that people started looking around uncomfortably and even the teacher sort of changed the way she was lecturing...

At this point I am smiling widely and stifling my own laughter... I have deduced that it must be from right near me because of the sound, and as I take in the room, I notice a girl just a couple seats away from me has turned bright red out of embarrassment...

As I look away from her I also notice that other people have honed in on the fart location, and a few people are looking at me laughing like this...

... Which way, Western man? ... I says to myself...

"Sorry, guys. I ate a lot at breakfast," I say in the language we are studying. A couple boys and maybe like one or two girls laugh uncomfortably, but the hate gazes from all the girls towards me intensify...

Except for one woman, whose face goes back to normal.

She must've felt a great sense of relief...

I white knighted her fart. I jumped on the social faux pas grenade. I took credit for a ghastly, room-clearing fart, taking all the shame upon my shoulders, and allowing a skinny, fairly attractive woman to go on with her day without having to think about this.

I don't think she can really tell anybody but ... She knows, and I know, and now you know what I did for her that day... And it's the nicest thing I probably did that entire year.